The weekend was rough for both Edgard and Constantine. It started with Edgard not being able to go to the club as Constantine was too afraid to drive (After all, he had not driven in three years and he had only one days worth of experience). However the following day, Jonas' dad attempted to have Constantine relearn how to drive, shouting and bellowing at every turn. The day and the weekend was looking grim for Jonas, and he was really forward to go out, even if it meant that Constantine had to drive.
Later on at night, Josiah had contacted him and told him that there's a great club to go to later. Ed and Constantine were excited! A club?
"We can definitely get some skin there. All hoes are always up in them clubs looking for dick" Edgard rejoiced.
"do they really? I don't know Ed, kk hoes are different"
"would you rather sit at home and finish your gundam?"
"well we did do that yesterday"
"well was that fun?"
"well - "
"well well well shut the fuck up. we gone get some skin and you know you like it"
As they somewhat agreed, Josiah dropped the catch - it costs a 100 dollars to get in. Constantine could not believe it. Even though he had 100 dollars in hand, he wasn't about to let it go that easily. Constantine didn't know if a hoe was worth 100 dollars - and it wasnt even guaranteed.
Edgard on the other hand, was seriously considering it. He had been dry for 8 months and he could not take another day alone, especially when there was a chance at sex.
"a hundred bucks is reasonable for a hoe. I'm sure girls don't pay a hundred bucks to get a good dance"
"But Ed, you know how awkward you are whenever youre with women. You'll always say the wrong thing, eventually."
"We gotta learn somehow right, else we gone be stuck in this hell hole forever"
"but for a 100 bucks? Just for a chance? No man, it's never gonna work out"
"aight what about if the night has no better choice"
"I'll think about it"
Soon enough the night approached and Constantine kept trying to hit up Calvin (since he had invited him the day before),but to no avail. Since there was no response, Constantine decided to go for a drive just to see how kk's night life was like, and maybe hit up Josiah. He still needed time to think about it. Edgard was happy though. The very thought of the possibility of getting hoes had him roaring to go. Also it was the thought of actually going out (Jonas had no life in Canada)
It was exciting! The sights and sounds of kk were so different and the liberty of driving a car all alone for the first time was amazing. Taking in all the fresh changes was actually a nice thing for the two. But Edgard couldn't wait to get up in the club. As always all he ever thinks about is sex.
"Connie driving is nice and all but can we hit the club now?"
"Calvin ain't reply so I sure ain't paying a hundred bucks. I think we should just go home and fix my gundam. "
" CONNIE PLEASE YOU KNOW WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET SOME IN CANADA"
"Aight fine, but I'm checking the club first and seeing what's in store. Thats all were doing"
"Oh come on JUST CHECKING??"
"it's a 100 bucks man, for just possible pussy "
" fine check the club. I'm telling you all these hoes are getting it on."
Constantine arrived at the place and to his surprise, it was actually in a mall. There were pretty women going into the club every minute. Edgard was so tempted to go in, until Constantine found Starbucks' wifi (yes,it was weird that there was still wifi at that hour, it was 11pm). Next thing you know Calvin hit Jonas up for free entry to a club! Both Constantine and Edgard took it to the club without question. Even though Edgard knew there'd be more hoes in 100 dollars, but Constantine just wanted to get it up in the club for the first time. Edgard agreed on that point.
After some time finding some parking, Jonas finally hit the club. He was scared of some pilaks at the entrance but he couldnt give a shit. They were saying some shit but he was saved by Calvin's presence. They got together good and finally got in the club. The music was so loud Constantine was amazed.
"So this where all the pussy at eh?"
"DAMN STRAIGHT NIGGA WE GONE GET SOME TONITE"
"Can we sit in the corner we should take things slow This is our first time"
"Okay we gone have a few drinks and then I'll direct you to the nearest hoe"
"oh wait look who's here its Maybelline"
"The fuck? she a quiet hoe back in TTSS. like the fuck she doing here?"
"Well nows your chance - this gone be your first stranger in a long time "
But the conversation didn't go so well. Edgard went flat after 2 minutes.
"Awww poor Ed. WHERES YOUR FUCKING PUSSY NOW?"
"It's never coming im afraid. I mean theres still a lot of other ttss hoes we can reunite/ignite/fuck. She doesn't seem like she wants to talk, like every fucking girl out there"
"Welp I mean come on Ed weve never had a one night stand before. We havent even had a first date so calm your tits. Not even a date."
"Whatever fagget. I guess ill just drown my sorrows in this tower of beer.
"ED WERE DRIVING PLS WE ONLY 21 I CANT DIE YET"
However persuasive constantine was, Calvin decided to join the arguement and fuck Jonas up. And even though Constantine let one drink through, another drink came along and soon enough Edgard was taking drinks by himself.
Even though there were three other ladies on the table Ed could not bring himself to talk to any of them. None was looking at him. His confidence was too low to do anything.... Except try Maybelline again. Now Constantine was too drunk to try and resist. He needed skin too.
"Youre really pretty"
"Are you saying that cause im the only girl here?"
"No, I'm saying that cause you actually pretty babe. Like yous a 10. for sure."
Edgard was hoping for a better reaction. But it wasn't much. Ed couldn't care anymore and he started hugging her. He was almost kissing her neck but instead he took a good whiff of that perfume and womanly smell.
"mmmmmm *sniff sniff* I love this scent... ho shit fuckkkk Connie are you looking at that booty its mad big Connie plz let me touch it its right there"
"Hey hey hey dont be stupid we cant let these hoes run away after our first day. Take it slow babe im raging too"
"But what if she never gives in Connie. What if coming back to Malaysia is just another part of the Saharas we visiting. "
"Nigga yous stupid this is our third day back. we have time with this hoe, calm down. we got like the rest of our vacay to get this booty"
After feeling around here and there Calvin realized how thirsty Jonas was and started teasing him by taking Maybelline away. Edgard played along cause he believed that Maybelline would always come back to her. Constantine knew otherwise but played along anyways.
After some time finding some parking, Jonas finally hit the club. He was scared of some pilaks at the entrance but he couldnt give a shit. They were saying some shit but he was saved by Calvin's presence. They got together good and finally got in the club. The music was so loud Constantine was amazed.
"So this where all the pussy at eh?"
"DAMN STRAIGHT NIGGA WE GONE GET SOME TONITE"
"Can we sit in the corner we should take things slow This is our first time"
"Okay we gone have a few drinks and then I'll direct you to the nearest hoe"
"oh wait look who's here its Maybelline"
"The fuck? she a quiet hoe back in TTSS. like the fuck she doing here?"
"Well nows your chance - this gone be your first stranger in a long time "
But the conversation didn't go so well. Edgard went flat after 2 minutes.
"Awww poor Ed. WHERES YOUR FUCKING PUSSY NOW?"
"It's never coming im afraid. I mean theres still a lot of other ttss hoes we can reunite/ignite/fuck. She doesn't seem like she wants to talk, like every fucking girl out there"
"Welp I mean come on Ed weve never had a one night stand before. We havent even had a first date so calm your tits. Not even a date."
"Whatever fagget. I guess ill just drown my sorrows in this tower of beer.
"ED WERE DRIVING PLS WE ONLY 21 I CANT DIE YET"
However persuasive constantine was, Calvin decided to join the arguement and fuck Jonas up. And even though Constantine let one drink through, another drink came along and soon enough Edgard was taking drinks by himself.
Even though there were three other ladies on the table Ed could not bring himself to talk to any of them. None was looking at him. His confidence was too low to do anything.... Except try Maybelline again. Now Constantine was too drunk to try and resist. He needed skin too.
"Youre really pretty"
"Are you saying that cause im the only girl here?"
"No, I'm saying that cause you actually pretty babe. Like yous a 10. for sure."
Edgard was hoping for a better reaction. But it wasn't much. Ed couldn't care anymore and he started hugging her. He was almost kissing her neck but instead he took a good whiff of that perfume and womanly smell.
"mmmmmm *sniff sniff* I love this scent... ho shit fuckkkk Connie are you looking at that booty its mad big Connie plz let me touch it its right there"
"Hey hey hey dont be stupid we cant let these hoes run away after our first day. Take it slow babe im raging too"
"But what if she never gives in Connie. What if coming back to Malaysia is just another part of the Saharas we visiting. "
"Nigga yous stupid this is our third day back. we have time with this hoe, calm down. we got like the rest of our vacay to get this booty"
After feeling around here and there Calvin realized how thirsty Jonas was and started teasing him by taking Maybelline away. Edgard played along cause he believed that Maybelline would always come back to her. Constantine knew otherwise but played along anyways.
Soon enough Constantine whacked Edgard out of the picture and danced.
"The fuck you doing? You embarrassing us!"
"Look man, Maybelline ain't ever gonna suck your dick whether you like it or not. Might as well cry to it."
"Can we like cry quietly in the corner like a fucking normal person - not through your weird ass dancing"
"Couldn't give a shit bout you right now to be honest, admit it Ed, we's gone be dry for the rest of the night"
"She let us hug her, we can hug her again"
"Nigga, hugs don't get pussy"
"But skin Connie, skin"
"I don't want to lose the possible outcome of more skin, and I know you don't too"
So the night went by as Constantine danced and let Calvin and Maybelline laugh at them. He knew what he was doing but he just couldn't care anymore - he knew he had no chance. Edgard took this differently though - he thought that the more Maybelline laughed, the more chance he had and getting laid that night. So Edgard just sat quietly laughing.
After the tower was done with, everyone decided to go for supper. But Constantine was too fucked to know where everyone was going.
"Lintas? Where's Lintas again?"
Everyone chuckled at how fucked up Jonas was from all that drinking, as Lintas was probably the second most common area out of the city. So they decided to have Maybelline drive his ass to the place. Using his car. It took Edgard to the dark ages - when Nadia once picked him up for dinner.
"Wow this is pretty embarrassing. Im sorry you gotta do this"
"I know right. Aren't the guys supposed to the girls home."
"Well believe it or not this isn't the first time this happened. Someone actually took me out instead of the other way around, so you know. It definitely could be worse hahaha"
"Seriously? So how did it go?"
"It was the worst time of my life. Every second she was constantly hinting that she wanted to go home. Like really soi lah. *fake sobs*"
" Lol damn sad lah"
"Can we like cry quietly in the corner like a fucking normal person - not through your weird ass dancing"
"Couldn't give a shit bout you right now to be honest, admit it Ed, we's gone be dry for the rest of the night"
"She let us hug her, we can hug her again"
"Nigga, hugs don't get pussy"
"But skin Connie, skin"
"I don't want to lose the possible outcome of more skin, and I know you don't too"
So the night went by as Constantine danced and let Calvin and Maybelline laugh at them. He knew what he was doing but he just couldn't care anymore - he knew he had no chance. Edgard took this differently though - he thought that the more Maybelline laughed, the more chance he had and getting laid that night. So Edgard just sat quietly laughing.
After the tower was done with, everyone decided to go for supper. But Constantine was too fucked to know where everyone was going.
"Lintas? Where's Lintas again?"
Everyone chuckled at how fucked up Jonas was from all that drinking, as Lintas was probably the second most common area out of the city. So they decided to have Maybelline drive his ass to the place. Using his car. It took Edgard to the dark ages - when Nadia once picked him up for dinner.
"Wow this is pretty embarrassing. Im sorry you gotta do this"
"I know right. Aren't the guys supposed to the girls home."
"Well believe it or not this isn't the first time this happened. Someone actually took me out instead of the other way around, so you know. It definitely could be worse hahaha"
"Seriously? So how did it go?"
"It was the worst time of my life. Every second she was constantly hinting that she wanted to go home. Like really soi lah. *fake sobs*"
" Lol damn sad lah"
"what to do? That was like my first date ever with anyone."
""That's right Ed, this is all your fault""
"" Could you stop reminding me""
""That's right Ed, this is all your fault""
"" Could you stop reminding me""
Soon enough we reached a mamak store, and everybody got some roti but not Jonas. Edgard was just waiting for someone question his life with his Ex. Constantine didn't mind - he needed some pity. He was actually hoping for Maybelline to take pity so he could get more skin (all the alcohol had made him somewhat sad, it always does).
"Ahhh fuck Edgard, I'm so lonelyyyy. Save my soulll "
"Okay okay we gone get Maybelline boy, see she be looking now!"
" yous such a dumbassss. She looking cause we telling the story, can you be less of a tard? Not everyone who - actually fuck that, no one who looks this way likes us foolll "
"Man stfu. A nigga can wish right. With yous around I we ain't ever gonna get anything."
"I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH ED, YOUS KNOW I'M RIGHT"
"So you want us to be dry for the rest of our life?? "
" THAT'S OUR FUTURE ED, WES GONE BE RICH AND LONELY FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES"
"Come on for once when we're drunk, can you let me have this much light"
"Just because Calvin has his hoes doesn't mean were going to get any. We're in KK boy, AND WE'RE NOT CALVIN YEAH?"
"The only reason we ain't Calvin is cause you ain't letting me fool!"
"The only reason I ain't letting you is cause you do the dumbest shit when you try. Remember Nadia? Fuck this is why I gotta remind you all the time"
"The only reason we ain't Calvin is cause you ain't letting me fool!"
"The only reason I ain't letting you is cause you do the dumbest shit when you try. Remember Nadia? Fuck this is why I gotta remind you all the time"
At that point Edgard had finished telling his story, but he was just utterly destroyed with realization. However Calvin had been roasting him the whole time over being a bitch; Vee's bitch. Edgard was so sad inside, but he made light of the situation. Edgard even started joking about how little sex they had, going as far as to tell them that he couldn't cum from sex, and the most extreme sex they had was when he was crying.
"Really? you had to tell them that"
"Well fuck if got no chance with Maybelline why not right?"
After a few more roasts it was revealed that Calvin's friend had asked a girl to dance with him, but she gave a disgusted face instead. Edgard died inside and Constantine cried with him, even though they managed to pull a happy face. After a few more shots at Jonas, everyone was done and decided to go home. It turns out that Maybelline had no ride, and Jonas' house was close to hers, so figures that she would be going home with Jonas. However Jonas was too fucked up to drive (even though Edgard says otherwise), so she drove.
After reaching her place, Jonas got out of the car and went straight to hugging her.
"It was really nice seeing you again" *Strokes back and sniffs hair*
"Awww it was nice seeing you too"
But Edgard conitinued hugging for a good minute or so. He was just continuously rubbing her back and smelling her neck.
"Okay Ed thats enough"
"WE LONELY REMEMBER WE GONE BE DRY FOR THE REST OF OUR TIME HERE YOU SHOULD BE ENJOING THIS SHIT THATS SKIN RIGHT HERE"
"im lonely too but Ed I'm sure she's not down to smash. Who knows? We might smash next week"
"you just told me we weren't ever gonna get any. What yous up to now."
"Im sorry to bring down your hopes but all im trying to say is Ed, dont fuck up something on the first day. if you're going to try at least take some time. you've got it going good Ed. I'm just here to stop you from being retarded."
"I hate you Connie. I really hate you."
At that point Jonas let go and went back into his car.
"even though it seems like nobody loves you Connie, The truth is people likes you. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT LIKES US CONNIE JUST ACCEPT IT"
"thats a lie. I AM THE VOICE OF REASON, YOU DON'T GET TO REASON WITH ME"
"Shut up Connie, yous fucking drunk. Don't worry Jonas life always looks up to those who waits"
"Ed you know you wrong, time doesn't tell. ONLY SEX AND CONFIDENCE DOES"
"Jonas, just take care of yourself okay? Connie drunk fuck. I am too but I took his role when we got that beer.
"Go on Jonas believe him. You see Michelle? she gone now. THATS RIGHT, NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE US"
Jonas just wanted to get to bed. Ed really needed to cause Constantine Was too drunk to exist. Even though he forgot which direction traffic was coming from from the roads, he managed to get home. But after that he was drunk texting everyone. Constantine was just too sad at that point. He was sad and thirsty. What kind of conscience is this? Edgard didnt even know. But he kind of liked it so he played along. Ed just knew;
"Can anyone of these hoes just give me some. All the hoes in Canada and all the hoes in kk and im still drier than space. What are we missing Connie?"
"WE NEED TO BE RIPPED AND BE INTERESTING DAWG, YOU ALREADY KNOW IT"
"Really? you had to tell them that"
"Well fuck if got no chance with Maybelline why not right?"
After a few more roasts it was revealed that Calvin's friend had asked a girl to dance with him, but she gave a disgusted face instead. Edgard died inside and Constantine cried with him, even though they managed to pull a happy face. After a few more shots at Jonas, everyone was done and decided to go home. It turns out that Maybelline had no ride, and Jonas' house was close to hers, so figures that she would be going home with Jonas. However Jonas was too fucked up to drive (even though Edgard says otherwise), so she drove.
After reaching her place, Jonas got out of the car and went straight to hugging her.
"It was really nice seeing you again" *Strokes back and sniffs hair*
"Awww it was nice seeing you too"
But Edgard conitinued hugging for a good minute or so. He was just continuously rubbing her back and smelling her neck.
"Okay Ed thats enough"
"WE LONELY REMEMBER WE GONE BE DRY FOR THE REST OF OUR TIME HERE YOU SHOULD BE ENJOING THIS SHIT THATS SKIN RIGHT HERE"
"im lonely too but Ed I'm sure she's not down to smash. Who knows? We might smash next week"
"you just told me we weren't ever gonna get any. What yous up to now."
"Im sorry to bring down your hopes but all im trying to say is Ed, dont fuck up something on the first day. if you're going to try at least take some time. you've got it going good Ed. I'm just here to stop you from being retarded."
"I hate you Connie. I really hate you."
At that point Jonas let go and went back into his car.
"even though it seems like nobody loves you Connie, The truth is people likes you. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT LIKES US CONNIE JUST ACCEPT IT"
"thats a lie. I AM THE VOICE OF REASON, YOU DON'T GET TO REASON WITH ME"
"Shut up Connie, yous fucking drunk. Don't worry Jonas life always looks up to those who waits"
"Ed you know you wrong, time doesn't tell. ONLY SEX AND CONFIDENCE DOES"
"Jonas, just take care of yourself okay? Connie drunk fuck. I am too but I took his role when we got that beer.
"Go on Jonas believe him. You see Michelle? she gone now. THATS RIGHT, NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE US"
Jonas just wanted to get to bed. Ed really needed to cause Constantine Was too drunk to exist. Even though he forgot which direction traffic was coming from from the roads, he managed to get home. But after that he was drunk texting everyone. Constantine was just too sad at that point. He was sad and thirsty. What kind of conscience is this? Edgard didnt even know. But he kind of liked it so he played along. Ed just knew;
"Can anyone of these hoes just give me some. All the hoes in Canada and all the hoes in kk and im still drier than space. What are we missing Connie?"
"WE NEED TO BE RIPPED AND BE INTERESTING DAWG, YOU ALREADY KNOW IT"
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