Thirsty Life #3: Constantine's fall (Jonas' second time in the club)

After that night, Constantine found himself talking to Maybelline, despite what Edgard had done that night. She seemed very friendly at the time.

"Wow we didn't manage to fuck this up. Maybe we have a chance."

"Every girl you see huh"

"If we don't get this, there gone be a 100% chance I'm going to masturbate everyday. a 70% chance to do it twice in one day. I'm pretty sure you're tired of that life."

"I dont know Ed, you heartbroken or your masturbation after effects. You tell me"

"But what if I don't get heartbroken? I mean come on there's a hot chance she might like us"

""What if " - you already know where this is going"

" Come on -"

"No other women within a 50 mile radius. Can I even stop you at this point?"

"yey trust bruh we gone git"

"fuck off, like she's shy aff so can you not go ham"

"nigga she was up in the club wtf you talking about"

After that kerfuffle Edgard and Constantine took some turns talking to her. It was really enjoyable for the most part - she seemed like almost any best friend Jonas could ask for - except she was really conservative about her sex and love life (she just didnt open up like how Constantine and Edgard had hoped) Despite whatever personality Constantine noted down, Edgard decided that maybe - just maybe - she'd have sex if he told the three year story.

"You know it's gonna work Connie - Chicks dig guys who tried"

"come on Ed that might alienate her even more, like what chick likes listening to some stupid ass ex story"

"come on man think about it this way - she gone pity our assessment and give us some loving"

"come on man you know the pity technique doesn't work - remember Chantelle - Jessie - Estelle -

"Shut up, this one's different"

"that's what you always say"

"Okay can't I tell her as a friend then"

"Sure, as a "friend" like is there even stopping you"

"WEEEEEE"

And with that Edgard sought Maybelline out - hoping to go out with her. Constantine was nervous though. The last time he had met a girl face to face was three years ago, in Malaysia, and it was the most embarrassing thing he had ever done his entire life. It turns out she was open to the idea - the very same day in fact, for a hike on Bukit Padang. However it was at the worst possible time, as he was Josiah at the time, Josiah being himself, kept pestering Jonas about whoever he was texting. Constantine felt obliged to tell him who it was and what was happening, even though Edgard knew he would be the biggest third wheel ever seen. Josiah however was quick to ask her to get another friend to avoid being the third wheel, but to no avail did she have any friends that were free. But it was an obstacle Edgard was willing to go through.

As they arrived at the place and time, Maybelline had already reached the peak. Jonas took some time climbing the mountain, as he was not fit at all, as Josiah had constantly taunted him to hurry up. Before you know it, they had arrived at the peak, and Edgard realized that Maybelline appeared a lot more plummer than he had remembered - He definitely did not feel that fat around her waist.

"Oh come on - was she this big in High school?

"I dont know but lets have an open mind now - she's still kinda hot with big boobs and everything"

"NO I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS but whatever I need to smash"

"*Sigh, to himself*      at least we're open minded....?"

However as soon as we met, Josiah hit it off with her right away - they started talking about school and their lives so far.

"Really? we came all the way here for this?"

"Oh calm down, Josiah never knew her in the first place, let them be friends!"

"Shut up I know you feel like shit too, that she doesn't really care about us and shit."

"Can you just stop being salty without the limelight? For once just plssss. You'll probably have time to talk later"

"Bitch stfu"

Since Josiah and Jonas arrived relatively late in the day, sunset was already on the horizon, and they needed to head down quick. But as they headed down Josiah talked about his own three year story instead. Edgard was totally cockblocked the whole way through.

"What a fucking faggot."

"At least he asked her to grab a friend?"

"Whatever this was a complete waste of time."

"You mean the story of how he became a faggot? Pretty shit tbh."

And so the day ended to Edgard's disappointment, as Constantine constantly reminded him that there was always tomorrow. As Maybelline continued texting, Edgard soon regained his hopes as he kept pestering her to talk about the three year story, and to his surprise, Maybelline made time despite Constantine's warnings to "tone down the desperation or you'll chase her away".

Edgard was truly happy, - it would be his first time he told anyone the complete story about what actually happened, but more so, he was excited that it might bring the pity love that he was seeking. Constantine on the other hand, always wanted an objective view. He wanted to feel bad but also wanted to know if he did was right, because he feels like he should have just left.

Soon enough, Maybelline came around, picking him up, and Edgard let it all out right away. Weird enough to Constantine, she seemed to enjoy the three year story through and through, even laughing at most parts.

"Wow she's actually sitting through all this shit"

"I mean of course, I'm pretty sure shes attracted to us somehow."

"I think its just cause this story had so much drama."

"Bitch I know you feel that connection, I know you know she likey"

"Okay Ed thats enough, I'm not getting caught in this fucking dance of love again. You know you always bring me down whenever I get on this train"

"But this time I can tell it's real, cant you?"

"Come on man. Can we just stick to one girl at a time now? I'm tired of constantly fucking you up fucking up everytime."

"Do you honestly think Chelsea likes us? Do you think we have an actual chance? Besides we're here and she's there. We haven't even scratched the surface of getting with her."

"But - "

"But shut the fuck up lets go you dumb ass negro, We gotta enjoy life for once in our lives"

Eventually Maybelline brought Jonas to climb Bukit Padang again, and this time it was just the two of them. Despite agreeing with Edgard on almost all points, he still held him back for he had doubts about whether she liked him at all. In the end, he managed to get through without Edgard trying to force himself through too much.

"Thanks for not trying dawg, I really appreciate it."

"Whatever man, I'm just going to wait till this Friday. She gone come and fuck with us you see."

Time went on and soon Friday came. Josiah had stuck with Jonas the whole day, and to Edgard's luck, Josiah already had this night all planned out. Constantine was fine with it , for he still did not expect anything from Maybelline at all. They soon went to the club, and it was really small to Ed's surprise. After a drink, they left the club as it was rather quiet for a club, and moved to the bar instead. But by that time the alcohol had taken over, and Constantine drowned into the loneliness he'd been trying to deal with.

"Gut gut..... now ITS TIME FOR LIFE STORY #2"

"FUCK IT LETS GOOOO"

Now at this point Edgard had put on his scottish accent, as Constantine was severely off guard and okay with everything, and with that, he started telling his life story part 2, again in an attempt to get Maybelline's pity.

Sadly about an hour later at midnight, she had to go. Her parents were calling and it turned out to be her last night here.

"WAIT WHAT?!?!?!? YOU SAID YOU WERE LEAVING IN ONE WEEK!!!"

"Yeah, I said I was leaving in one week one week ago. It's exactly been one week"

"COME ON STAY THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG - LIKE FUCK YOUR PARENTS OKAY ILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU"

"Welp I'm sorry okay theyre my parents, I gotta go okay!"

And with that she took off. As she left Constantine had realized -

"Fuck. Here I am again, all alone with this fucking faggot who wouldn't stop talking about how Callie wont stay and date his stupid ass. Ffs. I'm really going to miss her."

"I mean Josiah has connections at least you know, so like it gone be fine dawg"

"Nigga fuck off we going back to the club"

Edgard wasn't going to have any of his embarrassing dancing again. And lucky for him, Josiah had the same opinion too. There was nothing left for Constantine to do, as he was very susceptible to persuasion in his drunk state, despite hes desperation in his depression. But after seeing what he saw in the club, he believed what Josiah was saying - "Do you actually think the chicks here look like they wanna bang?" Drunk, he tailgated Josiah to his house. But on the way back, he had realized - he couldn't wait to text Maybelline.

"oh look who's the thirsty one now? Theres no way we gone smash her now. What you trying for? "

"hur hur stfu"

Constantine was too drunk to care about what Edgard was saying. As he thanked Maybelline for the night, he started regretting not actually asking her out. He had fallen in love.

And he confessed to her. Even though she was unphased, she told him that "next time lah, ask me out."

"you know Ed, maybe we should really start trying. Cause girls like guys who try right?"

"LOLOLOL FUCK THAT SHIT. we've been trying for the past 3 months and no one gives a shit. Can't you see? We suck at being real. We're too fucking weird to even try - like why the fuck you think no one hitting us up on tinder? Nigga just stfu and let me keep looking for thirsty hoes"

"And you think kk has any? Nigga everyone here has a Chasity belt. Do you see anyone grinding it up in the club? "

"nigga don't let Maybelline give you false hope. Even if we did hit her up she was gone dump our after one sorry date. I mean dude just enough with the false hope!"

"Man come on, lemme try at least one more time"

"the only thing you gone try is to get me all broken up again. As much as Id like to smash I can't walk around being all sad and shit so fuck off aight!"

And with that Constantine cried his night away, still holding hope in his heart for someone that'll love him. As much as Edgard wanted to be loved too, he was scared. Beaten up by his last relationship, Edgard only wanted physical validation. "To strive in life" he'd always think to himself.

Thirsty life #2: first time in the club (no bottle full of bub)

The weekend was rough for both Edgard and Constantine. It started with Edgard not being able to go to the club as Constantine was too afraid to drive (After all, he had not driven in three years and he had only one days worth of experience). However the following day, Jonas' dad attempted to have Constantine relearn how to drive, shouting and bellowing at every turn. The day and the weekend was looking grim for Jonas, and he was really forward to go out, even if it meant that Constantine had to drive.

Later on at night, Josiah had contacted him and told him that there's a great club to go to later. Ed and Constantine were excited! A club?

"We can definitely get some skin there. All hoes are always up in them clubs looking for dick" Edgard rejoiced.

"do they really? I don't know Ed, kk hoes are different"

"would you rather sit at home and finish your gundam?"

"well we did do that yesterday"

"well was that fun?"

"well - "

"well well well shut the fuck up. we gone get some skin and you know you like it"

As they somewhat agreed, Josiah dropped the catch - it costs a 100 dollars to get in. Constantine could not believe it. Even though he had 100 dollars in hand, he wasn't about to let it go that easily. Constantine didn't know if a hoe was worth 100 dollars - and it wasnt even guaranteed.

Edgard on the other hand, was seriously considering it. He had been dry for 8 months and he could not take another day alone, especially when there was a chance at sex.

"a hundred bucks is reasonable for a hoe. I'm sure girls don't pay a hundred bucks to get a good dance"

"But Ed, you know how awkward you are whenever youre with women. You'll always say the wrong thing, eventually."

"We gotta learn somehow right, else we gone be stuck in this hell hole forever"

"but for a 100 bucks? Just for a chance? No man, it's never gonna work out"

"aight what about if the night has no better choice"

"I'll think about it"

Soon enough the night approached and Constantine kept trying to hit up Calvin (since he had invited him the day before),but to no avail. Since there was no response, Constantine decided to go for a drive just to see how kk's night life was like, and maybe hit up Josiah. He still needed time to think about it. Edgard was happy though. The very thought of the possibility of getting hoes had him roaring to go. Also it was the thought of actually going out (Jonas had no life in Canada)

It was exciting! The sights and sounds of kk were so different and the liberty of driving a car all alone for the first time was amazing. Taking in all the fresh changes was actually a nice thing for the two. But Edgard couldn't wait to get up in the club. As always all he ever thinks about is sex.

"Connie driving is nice and all but can we hit the club now?"

"Calvin ain't reply so I sure ain't paying a hundred bucks. I think we should just go home and fix my gundam. "

" CONNIE PLEASE YOU KNOW WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET SOME IN CANADA"

"Aight fine, but I'm checking the club first and seeing what's in store. Thats all were doing"

"Oh come on JUST CHECKING??"

"it's a 100 bucks man, for just possible pussy "

" fine check the club. I'm telling you all these hoes are getting it on."

Constantine arrived at the place and to his surprise, it was actually in a mall. There were pretty women going into the club every minute. Edgard was so tempted to go in, until Constantine found Starbucks' wifi (yes,it was weird that there was still wifi at that hour, it was 11pm). Next thing you know Calvin hit Jonas up for free entry to a club! Both Constantine and Edgard took it to the club without question. Even though Edgard knew there'd be more hoes in 100 dollars, but Constantine just wanted to get it up in the club for the first time. Edgard agreed on that point.

After some time finding some parking, Jonas finally hit the club. He was scared of some pilaks at the entrance but he couldnt give a shit. They were saying some shit but he was saved by Calvin's presence. They got together good and finally got in the club. The music was so loud Constantine was amazed.

"So this where all the pussy at eh?"

"DAMN STRAIGHT NIGGA WE GONE GET SOME TONITE"

"Can we sit in the corner     we should take things slow     This is our first time"

"Okay we gone have a few drinks and then I'll direct you to the nearest hoe"

"oh wait look who's here its Maybelline"

"The fuck? she a quiet hoe back in TTSS. like the fuck she doing here?"

"Well nows your chance - this gone be your first stranger in a long time "

But the conversation didn't go so well. Edgard went flat after 2 minutes.

"Awww poor Ed. WHERES YOUR FUCKING PUSSY NOW?"

"It's never coming im afraid. I mean theres still a lot of other ttss hoes we can reunite/ignite/fuck. She doesn't seem like she wants to talk, like every fucking girl out there"

"Welp I mean come on Ed weve never had a one night stand before. We havent even had a first date so calm your tits.     Not even a date."

"Whatever fagget. I guess ill just drown my sorrows in this tower of beer.

"ED WERE DRIVING PLS WE ONLY 21 I CANT DIE YET"

However persuasive constantine was, Calvin decided to join the arguement and fuck Jonas up. And even though Constantine let one drink through, another drink came along and soon enough Edgard was taking drinks by himself.

Even though there were three other ladies on the table Ed could not bring himself to talk to any of them. None was looking at him. His confidence was too low to do anything.... Except try Maybelline again. Now Constantine was too drunk to try and resist. He needed skin too.

"Youre really pretty" 

"Are you saying that cause im the only girl here?"

"No, I'm saying that cause you actually pretty babe. Like yous a 10. for sure."

Edgard was hoping for a better reaction. But it wasn't much. Ed couldn't care anymore and he started hugging her. He was almost kissing her neck but instead he took a good whiff of that perfume and womanly smell.

"mmmmmm *sniff sniff* I love this scent... ho shit fuckkkk Connie are you looking at that booty      its mad big        Connie plz let me touch it its right there"

"Hey hey hey dont be stupid we cant let these hoes run away after our first day. Take it slow babe im raging too"

"But what if she never gives in Connie. What if coming back to Malaysia is just another part of the Saharas we visiting. "

"Nigga yous stupid this is our third day back. we have time with this hoe, calm down. we got like the rest of our vacay to get this booty"

After feeling around here and there Calvin realized how thirsty Jonas was and started teasing him by taking Maybelline away. Edgard played along cause he believed that Maybelline would always come back to her. Constantine knew otherwise but played along anyways. 

Soon enough Constantine whacked Edgard out of the picture and danced.

"The fuck you doing? You embarrassing us!"

"Look man, Maybelline ain't ever gonna suck your dick whether you like it or not. Might as well cry to it."

"Can we like cry quietly in the corner like a fucking normal person - not through your weird ass dancing"

"Couldn't give a shit bout you right now to be honest, admit it Ed, we's gone be dry for the rest of the night"

"She let us hug her, we can hug her again"

"Nigga, hugs don't get pussy"

"But skin Connie, skin"

"I don't want to lose the possible outcome of more skin, and I know you don't too"

So the night went by as Constantine danced and let Calvin and Maybelline laugh at them. He knew what he was doing but he just couldn't care anymore - he knew he had no chance. Edgard took this differently though - he thought that the more Maybelline laughed, the more chance he had and getting laid that night. So Edgard just sat quietly laughing.

After the tower was done with, everyone decided to go for supper. But Constantine was too fucked to know where everyone was going.

"Lintas? Where's Lintas again?"

Everyone chuckled at how fucked up Jonas was from all that drinking, as Lintas was probably the second most common area out of the city. So they decided to have Maybelline drive his ass to the place. Using his car. It took Edgard to the dark ages - when Nadia once picked him up for dinner.

"Wow this is pretty embarrassing. Im sorry you gotta do this"

"I know right. Aren't the guys supposed to the girls home."

"Well believe it or not this isn't the first time this happened. Someone actually took me out instead of the other way around, so you know. It definitely could be worse hahaha"

"Seriously? So how did it go?"

"It was the worst time of my life. Every second she was constantly hinting that she wanted to go home. Like really soi lah. *fake sobs*"

" Lol damn sad lah"

"what to do? That was like my first date ever with anyone."
""That's right Ed, this is all your fault""

"" Could you stop reminding me""

Soon enough we reached a mamak store, and everybody got some roti but not Jonas. Edgard was just waiting for someone question his life with his Ex. Constantine didn't mind - he needed some pity. He was actually hoping for Maybelline to take pity so he could get more skin (all the alcohol had made him somewhat sad, it always does). 

"Ahhh fuck Edgard, I'm so lonelyyyy. Save my soulll "

"Okay okay we gone get Maybelline boy, see she be looking now!" 

" yous such a dumbassss. She looking cause we telling the story, can you be less of a tard? Not everyone who - actually fuck that, no one who looks this way likes us foolll "

"Man stfu. A nigga can wish right. With yous around I we ain't ever gonna get anything."

"I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH ED, YOUS KNOW I'M RIGHT" 

"So you want us to be dry for the rest of our life?? "

" THAT'S OUR FUTURE ED, WES GONE BE RICH AND LONELY FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES"

"Come on for once when we're drunk, can you let me have this much light"

"Just because Calvin has his hoes doesn't mean were going to get any. We're in KK boy, AND WE'RE NOT CALVIN YEAH?"

"The only reason we ain't Calvin is cause you ain't letting me fool!"

"The only reason I ain't letting you is cause you do the dumbest shit when you try. Remember Nadia? Fuck this is why I gotta remind you all the time"

At that point Edgard had finished telling his story, but he was just utterly destroyed with realization. However Calvin had been roasting him the whole time over being a bitch; Vee's bitch. Edgard was so sad inside, but he made light of the situation. Edgard even started joking about how little sex they had, going as far as to tell them that he couldn't cum from sex, and the most extreme sex they had was when he was crying.

"Really? you had to tell them that"

"Well fuck if got no chance with Maybelline why not right?"

After a few more roasts it was revealed that Calvin's friend had asked a girl to dance with him, but she gave a disgusted face instead. Edgard died inside and Constantine cried with him, even though they managed to pull a happy face. After a few more shots at Jonas, everyone was done and decided to go home. It turns out that Maybelline had no ride, and Jonas' house was close to hers, so figures that she would be going home with Jonas. However Jonas was too fucked up to drive (even though Edgard says otherwise), so she drove.

After reaching her place, Jonas got out of the car and went straight to hugging her.

"It was really nice seeing you again" *Strokes back and sniffs hair*

"Awww it was nice seeing you too"

But Edgard conitinued hugging for a good minute or so. He was just continuously rubbing her back and smelling her neck.

"Okay Ed thats enough"

"WE LONELY REMEMBER          WE GONE BE DRY FOR THE REST OF OUR TIME HERE       YOU SHOULD BE ENJOING THIS SHIT THATS SKIN RIGHT HERE"

"im lonely too but Ed I'm sure she's not down to smash. Who knows? We might smash next week"

"you just told me we weren't ever gonna get any. What yous up to now."

"Im sorry to bring down your hopes but all im trying to say is Ed, dont fuck up something on the first day. if you're going to try at least take some time. you've got it going good Ed. I'm just here to stop you from being retarded."

"I hate you Connie. I really hate you."

At that point Jonas let go and went back into his car.

"even though it seems like nobody loves you Connie, The truth is people likes you. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT LIKES US CONNIE JUST ACCEPT IT"

"thats a lie. I AM THE VOICE OF REASON, YOU DON'T GET TO REASON WITH ME"

"Shut up Connie, yous fucking drunk. Don't worry Jonas life always looks up to those who waits"

"Ed you know you wrong, time doesn't tell. ONLY SEX AND CONFIDENCE DOES"

"Jonas, just take care of yourself okay? Connie drunk fuck. I am too but I took his role when we got that beer.

"Go on Jonas believe him. You see Michelle? she gone now. THATS RIGHT, NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE US"

Jonas just wanted to get to bed. Ed really needed to cause Constantine Was too drunk to exist. Even though he forgot which direction traffic was coming from from the roads, he managed to get home. But after that he was drunk texting everyone. Constantine was just too sad at that point. He was sad and thirsty. What kind of conscience is this? Edgard didnt even know. But he kind of liked it so he played along. Ed just knew;

"Can anyone of these hoes just give me some. All the hoes in Canada and all the hoes in kk and im still drier than space. What are we missing Connie?"

"WE NEED TO BE RIPPED AND BE INTERESTING DAWG, YOU ALREADY KNOW IT"

Thirsty Life #1: Edgards first attempt at sexting

Edgard was sad one day as he found out that Mary had been taken. Stricken with grief, Edgard took to Facebook in hopes of getting hoes to talk to him. He needed to feel missed as barely anyone had contacted him in the past. But Constantine resisted. A fight broke out between the two:

"Ed wait you know this shit ain't gonna end well, everyone is gonna think you be seeking attention like you always do "

"Stfu Connie, nobody seen me or even heard about me for three years. Who the fuck gonna think I hoeing around fishing for friends. We're alone Connie. A FUCKING LONE"

Constantine knew but he was  scared. All he ever tries to do is save Edgard's face but he has a point. Constantine just fucked off into the corner with his face all pouty like. Meanwhile edgard made the call and poof - out of nowhere - a wild Melissa appeared. Edgard was puzzled. He thought - of all people - why would she talk to me?

"What is this hoe doing here? Surely she got over me. Unless she lonely. Connie what you think? go do your shit I'm confused"

"lolololol shes prolly here for good reasons. she has problems? no friends? Heck if I knew. But lets find out - so yeah, shut your face"

As Constatine inquired into this peculiar situation, Melissa fired back with a load of life. Being an outcast once? Yeap sounds like she has life issues, they both agreed. But in the end she talked about being accepted into a group of guys after the girls in the group threw her out. So what was she here for? Edgard was so confused.

"Being my friend? Really? This hoe needs to know how desperate I am. Maybe she here. Maybe she can sleep with me. Wait she still a virgin? Maybe she'll let me see her tits then"

"No Ed, we aint going through that again. We already gone through three girls with this shit. And you'll start crying again. I aint having any of this shit anymore, Im tired of picking up after your shit, making me feel so damn unlikable and shit. Just move aside fool"

"Come on this is Melissa she'll understand. There's a chance! think about the hot skin you'd be getting"

"But Ed, later, talk like a normal human being first - "

"Whatever. Go be a boring ass see and if that gets you any pussy. Great now she's talking about that time we dated for six hours."

"We? Nah man that was all you. Yous the one being thirsty for a fucking kiss. Noooo you can't think about what happens when you realize youre just using her. We were already branded as a hoe then, didn't need to be crucified as a douche too. See? Always cleaning up after your shit"

"stfu we needed to get some aight. You was being all sad and shit being turned down by all the hoes. Speaking of hoes she talking about Shonda now. Let's see if we can get some of her tits"

"you fucking nuts? That's her best friend. I'm curious to see how she's doing though"

"stop acting like a little fagget aight, thinking of any old hoe just makes you sadder. And even if we don't get her tits Melissa might hint some"

"Dude just stop. Like you can't do this to every girl that swings your way. Just gtfo"

After talking about Shonda's tits, Melissa was convinced Jonas is only into Shandas tits. Constantine tried hard to convince her otherwise but it was all in vain. The conversation between the two switched to her appearances and how she had changed. But after some time she suddenly says '"I'm horny tbh I'm going to do something about it"' and '"I'd fuck you if I can but I can't "'

Edgard couldn't just sit around anymore.

"Okay that's it get the fuck out of the way, I couldn't give a shit about what youre asking for anymore. It's time to go -"

"Ed wait - "

Edgard proceeded to tell Melissa that  '" he'd fuck her too if he could"' and '"honestly you're pretty hot"'. Constantine shook his head.

"she was playing you dawg. You knew she was calling you out"

"wait wait this could lead to pics Connie, you always gotta play along! See now she knows We'd fuck if we could but can't, so she'll move to sexting instead"

"Ed, are you even reading what she's saying - "

"Shut the fuck up - see? She's sending pictures! "

"- of her and her friends"

"yeah but that's a start - she's sending more pics man!"

After a shit load of plain pictures of Melissa posing with various forms of makeup, Edgard got so frustrated he sent a dick pic. But just in time, Constantine managed to reason with him.

"Ed wait - think about it. She's gonna see your dick and she might share that shit. Think about it, she might be playing with you just to expose your weak fucking ass"

"but Connie we gotta scar that hoe. Show that hoe what dick looks like so she knows never to mess with us again"

"what about the chance of fucking? She might see how small and atrocious it is that she'd burst in fucking laughter everytime. We can't have that man, you especially"

"Argh how do scar that hoe then?  Fuck "

" okay Ed how about we show her our dick but don't make it look like a dick. We can't have blackmail and shit going around"

"UGHHHH FUCKKKK"

After coming to an agreement, Ed sent a dick pic to Melissa that basically looked like a ball of dough, and told her that it was a dick. Melissa had no clue what was going on, but laughed along, knowing that it was a dick.

"ITS A DICK PIC THAT DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE A DICK, LOL " she exclaimed. 

After telling Melissa to fuck off, Edgard proceeded to leave Jonas for a while and pout over his everlasting thirst. Constantine on the other hand knew he was being played with all the pics. He knew that Melissa was actually toying with Edgard. He told Melissa:

" What are you even trying to do with all these pics?" 

"Oh you know, just have fun. I'm sending you all my hot pictures." 

Ed decided to come back and say "well they're cute but not exactly hot. Hot pictures includes titties not whatever you have on your face." and fucked straight off.

But Constantine tried to save whatever was happening by saying " I think you look better without makeup."

And of course, the woman - makeup argument started. Defending her choices, Melissa told them off by saying 

"I couldn't care what you think. I do this for myself."

"But I'm just putting my opinion out there. I'm not telling you to do anything for me. Even if my opinion means nothing, I just wanted to put it out there. You got no obligation here"

After that, Melissa's attention died down, and Constantine didn't know what to say. But he knew he was being played with. Edgard and Constantine pouted together through the night and on to the next day.

"Welp, this a great start to our quest for quench"

"Welp shut the fuck up please           No pussy for me means no skin for you"